Second Baby Boy = Second Chances


Joshua Edward Cole has arrived on March 24th! He is the EXACT opposite of Big Brother Jacob so far. At this stage with Jacob, I was asking my husband if the hospital would let me return my colicky son to them. I know, it sounds horrible for a mother to say that. But I was a first-time mom with a newborn who screamed and nursed. There were no two hour lulls like with Joshua.

At Joshua’s 48 hour appointment, I asked the doctor if he was ill. She asked me why I thought that and I told her that all he does is eat and sleep; maybe he had jaundice if he was so lethargic. She giggled at me and mentioned that Joshua was doing exactly what newborns are supposed to do.

I had it in my head my entire pregnancy that I was heading into a storm – a newborn (which I assumed would nurse and scream like Jacob did) and an active 2 year old. I have a vivid imagination so instead of getting excited about our new addition on the way, this is more along the lines of what I pictured:

Image by Heath Robbins
Image by Heath Robbins

It feels like God has sent me a little miracle. Maybe with a note that says:

“I owe ya one, Kid. Here’s a little baby boy who will be a sweet newborn. Now go on, fall in love with being a Mommy. I know the first time around those moments passed you by in the chaos.”

They did. I can’t recall moments with Jacob when I was able to sit down quietly with my chin on his soft little head and breath in his beautiful scent. I’m not saying they didn’t happen, I just can’t bring those memories to the surface. I was so busy being anxious about what would happen next and when the screaming would start that I couldn’t live in the moment.

Joshua is my second chance at falling in love. And I’m taking all the little moments in… because they’re already almost gone. He’ll be one month soon, then before I know it he’ll be a toddler, running away from me giggling, and after that, closing his bedroom door in my face so he can have privacy.

I sit here and try so hard to etch these sweet moments in my mind, I hope they never fade. I hope I can bring them to the surface when I need to and relive them. Until I need to do that though, I’m going to live in these moments right now and be thankful that God has blessed me with another little boy to raise.

THANK YOU!!!


thank-you-road-sign

Hello my loyal followers! I just wanted to take the time to say THANK YOU for following my blog posts, commenting with heartfelt messages and offering tips and advice. We celebrated Jacob’s first birthday last Sunday and I had a chance to look back on the past year.

I started Stay Sane Mommies when I was experiencing the terror of being a new mother. I needed somewhere to write down my feelings and share with other parents who were going through the same life change. I needed to be heard and comforted by the knowledge that I wasn’t alone.

Within a week of starting my blog I had over 500 followers and was so grateful to all the feedback and support I was getting. It’s so touching that you’re all willing to be so honest about your struggles; to let me and all my readers know that we’re not alone when it comes to our imperfections and worries.

From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for helping this Mamma stay sane another day 🙂

With Love,

Cris

Etiquette – On Visiting the New Mom & Baby


knockWhether it’s her first or fifth baby, a mother fresh from delivering a human into the world is sore, tired and hormonal. And the new baby is still adjusting to life on the outside. So let’s give them a little time to heal and relax.

Grandparents, Close Friends & Siblings Only Please

I was happy to have my parents, in-laws, close friends, and siblings over when I was home from the hospital. None of them cared if I hadn’t showered that day or if my house was a little messy.

For new mothers, things are so tough in those first couple of weeks. The thought of having people over is painful. Maybe she’s had a c-section and prefers her robe. Yes, most visitors would be understanding of her appearance, but that still doesn’t mean she’s comfortable with having them see her in this state.

Here are some more reasons for waiting to visit mom and baby:

  • Mom and baby are still getting used to breastfeeding, it’s easier for her to whip out a boob wherever she is in her home rather than cover up or leave the room
  • Mom’s hormonal, any little bit of stress can make her sweat enough to show puddles through eight layers of clothing and a parka, that’s embarrassing for her
  • Baby’s brand new; a lot of different hands handling them can be over stimulating, then once you leave, parents are left with a fussy baby after entertaining all day
  • Baby’s immune system is fragile, if you’re a little sniffly but feel fine, it’s still not okay for you to hold and breath all over the newborn

Now, even with all these reasons, if you still must visit then don’t expect the following:

  • A super cheerful and upbeat woman greeting the door
  • A meal to be prepared for you by candle light
  • Fresh cookies and tea to be prepared with enthusiasm
  • A guest room to be ready if you’re traveling from far away (book a hotel room!)
Apologies for Sounding Harsh

If the comments above have offended anyone I’m sorry. The point I’m trying to make is that the new parents do want to see you! They just need some time to adjust to this new life. If you have children, try to think back on those first few weeks and how hard they were. If you’re not a parent, then think about someone showing up at your place when you’ve had a party the night before and still have stuff all over the house, you’re extremely hung over, a lollipop is stuck in your hair, you have raccoon eyes and you haven’t brushed your teeth. It’s horrifying, right?

A Phone Call Is Awesome!

There’s no rule against a phone call though! If you want the new parents to know that you’re thinking about them and can’t wait to see them with their new bundle, then call them. Let them know you’re excited to see them so you’d love a phone call from them when they’re ready for visitors. They’d appreciate that MUCH more than a super early visit.

Anyone have horror stories you’d like to share about early visitors? Or maybe you’d like to rant about it here. Leave a reply!