I’m Stealth, Like a Ninja


funny-ninja-pictures

While sneaking out of Jacob’s room this afternoon I was trying to avoid a floor board that creaks. In the middle of sneaking out, I realized how ridiculous I must look. One arm perched on the crib, the other straight out at the side of my body for balance, my leg extended before me, and my toe pointed to avoid the creaky board. It kinda looked like I was walking on an invisible tightrope.

As I realized how silly I must have looked I had to hold back my laughter or risk waking Jacob. But if there was a mirror in there and I caught a glimpse of myself it would have been over.

There are more and more moments like these since becoming a mom. Moments when I catch the crazy in me coming out. Not scary crazy; more like what-would-the-neighbors-think-if-they-saw-me crazy.

Here are a few examples that I’m sure many moms can relate to:

  • While trying to sweep the floor that’s in serious need of sweeping, especially since Jacob crawls now, I also have to entertain Jacob in his exersaucer. He clearly no longer wants to be in there since he wants to explore. So as I sweep, I’m singing into the broom as though it were a microphone while dancing (more like contorting) to please Jacob.
  • When Jacob is being finicky during a meal, something happens to me. I start talking to him in a voice that’s not mine – it’s a cross between Elmo and Toopy. But he loves it, and it gets him to take a few more mouthfuls of food.
  • Another thing that happens during feeding time is I catch myself opening and closing my mouth as I feed Jacob. My mouth hangs open like I’m waiting to be fed myself, not sure why I do this, but even though I’m aware that I do, I can’t stop.
  • If Andrew is handing me a diaper to throw in the trash and comments on what “a bomb” Jacob unleashed, before I have a chance to think I’m lifting the diaper to my nose to take a whiff. The second I dry heave I say out loud “Oh man! Why do I DO this to myself?” To which Andrew replies: “I dunno, but I think I would have done it too.” Isn’t that so weird? Sorry to gross anyone out haha!

What silly – or gross – things do you catch yourself doing since becoming a parent? Please tell me I’m not alone. I can’t be. 

I Still Have “Pregnancy Brain” and Jacob’s 10 Months Old


bad-memory-funny-quotes

I’m getting tired of the air headedness that keeps occurring. I’ve had to put a dry-erase board on the fridge where I can write down things I need to buy on my next shopping trip or I’ll forget. The minute I think of something I need I race to the fridge and write it down before it exits my brain in a cloud of smoke.

What’s going on up there? It’s like my memory went on strike. I imagine a few cobwebs and a fat lazy mouse on a running wheel…but the mouse isn’t running…it’s lying on its back, picking food out of its teeth with a toothpick. Excuse me, Mousy? This is unacceptable!!

I think I’m going to try out the site Luminosity. It offers free online games to help increase memory. It’s worth a try! I’ll let you know how it goes.
In the meantime, here’s the latest on some things I’ve done while the fat mouse took a hiatus:

  • Poured water in my coffee instead of milk
  • Put my wallet in the fridge when putting groceries away
  • Went to the cold room to get an item and brought something else up instead…
  • The list goes on

Have any funny stories to share about “pregnancy”, or “mom brain?”