If you were close to me in my tween and teen years, you may remember me having a weak stomach when it came to nerves. Whether exams were coming up, a semi formal, a new crush…my anxiety would inevitably attack my insides – shooting high levels of cortisol into my system, sending my body into panic when there was no real danger. This physical chain reaction would usually lead me to being physically ill.
Some people assumed I was bulimic, others thought I had the flu a lot…and then there were my friends who knew what was really up and just went with the flow. They didn’t ask questions because they knew I had no answers. I hate my anxiety.
There are perks to knowing someone who gets bouts of anxiety though. As an anxious person, I almost always have a plan B, C, D and E. If we’re in a building and the fire alarm goes off – and there is indeed a fire, I am the person you want beside you. As you were ordering your Starbucks coffee and telling me about the crazy morning you had, I was listening while also planning escape routes out of the building should something crazy happen.
It’s just something I do. Maybe I watch the news too much. I don’t see the harm in being mentally prepared for emergency situations. Some people say I’m wasting my energy. Maybe I am, but I bet you’d follow my ass out of that building when it’s time for plan ‘B’ and you’re too panicked to think straight. You’re Welcome. 😉
Guess what I’ll be wearing all summer? I have contemplated cutting a hole at the top of my regular baseball cap to get this look. But now I can put the scissors away… well maybe after I turn some old jeans into shorts first.
Anyway, back to the the C.C. Ponycap – seriously, it even has my initials! How cute is this? Keep the rays off your face, the hair off your neck and look hot in the process.
Here’s more info:
100% breathable cotton
Adjustable hook & loop fastener so one size fits most
When you stir up old feelings that you don’t like to have, it’s like unloading a suitcase of old dusty things onto your bed
You won’t rest easy again until everything is sorted through, and neatly stored away again
But when you’re a mom when do you get the chance to clean up the mess in your soul?
You’re so busy making sure everyone else’s buckets are full that yours stays empty
It’s exhausting to hear the reminder that you MUST fill your own bucket (self care) when your arms are two shovels that are currently being used to fill other people
Of course you know it’s time to take care of yourself, but how? When? With what money?
When you’re home with your kids there is a guilt that’s carried around with you: any money spent on yourself is stolen from your family
What will make me feel good right now? Getting my nails done, hair done, some shopping, yoga classes, going to a book store, buying home decor items…
Sometimes none of these
Sometimes I have no idea what I like anymore
Sometimes I just need to talk
Sometimes I get into rare, deep conversations with other moms
We go deep, deeper than intended
It feels good in the moment
But later you feel a little regretful
Did I share too much?
Did I scare her away?
Did I just fill her bucket with negativity
Did I just pull her into my sadness?
Maybe she feels less alone like I do when I share
Sometimes I share too much
Sometimes that’s okay ❤
I am currently obsessed with these Bumpkins Reusable Snack Bags! Waterproof, washable and absolutely adorable, they now replace my endless use of ziploc bags for carrying my kids’ snacks around in my bag.
They come in a bunch of cute designs including firetrucks, Dr. Seuss, dinosaurs and more. My kids love unzipping them and indulging in their snacks. And not only am I saving myself from a car full of little baggies, it’s way better for the environment too.
They’re lab–tested food safe
These ones measure 7″W x 3.5″H but there are other sizes!
BPA, PVC, Vinyl, Phthalate and Lead free
Machine washable & dishwasher-safe (top rack)
Sold in single or multiple packs!
Bumpkins Reusable Snack Bags are the BEST for school snacks too. Tupperware can take up space so these are a great alternative. I highly recommend these adorable snack bags for daily use or even back-to-school gifting!
I swear my 3 & 5 year old boys were farmers in their past lives. Every morning the little boogers were up before the sun. I loved their enthusiasm for the day, I just wished they could be enthused a little more quietly.
I began to understand though, that they just had no concept of time. They were awake and wanted to party. I tried explaining to them that they were up way to early, but they just didin’t get it… until I bought their Gro-Clocks.
It’s like something clicked when we set their clocks up – which is ridiculously easy by the way! The visual of seeing a blue star at night and a yellow sun in the morning really helped their cute little brains grasp the concept of what a decent wake-up time is.
I was able to set the time when “the sun would come up” letting them know it was cool for them to get up and party. Until that sun came up though, they were to remain in their rooms and play quietly.
Instead of the typical twelve numbers around the clock, there are twelve stars. As each hour passes at night, a star disappears. So eventually my boys understood that if they woke up and there were a bunch of stars, it was still the middle of the night and they had to go back to bed. This helped my younger boy, Joshua with his frequent night wake ups – little dude just didn’t know it was still the middle of the night.
The Gro-Clock really helped them understand the concept of time. I swear by these things! If your toddlers get up a lot at night or are early risers GET THIS CLOCK!!! It has seriously made a difference for us.
I got both of ours at Amazon. They’re cheaper here than other places I have looked and they shipped in no time at all – and shipping’s free after $25 – score! Get your Gro-Clock Sleep Trainers today. Sweet dreams, Mammas!
What are some of your favourite products that actually helped make life easier? Please share them with me!!
Every once in a while you hear a song that gets right into your gut…and it shakes the emotions you’ve repressed for so long. Awakening the monster within that’s so familiar it actually brings with it a strange comfort. You’re reminded that no matter how wide your smile, how loud your laugh, or how fiercely you pretend the monster doesn’t exist – it does, and it’s never leaving.
But the same song that reminds you to keep running and never look back offers you the ammo to turn around and face the monster. To fight back and stop being a victim to its darkness. To scream like a warrior with black soot brushed along cheekbones. To raise your sword and defend the light left inside of you.
How does a stranger’s voice reach into your soul and clench the pain? How can they put into words exactly how you feel? Is it because maybe, just maybe, someone out there understands exactly what goes on inside of you when the crazy gets real? And it means that you’re not crazy. Sometimes you’re just raw – exposed – without skin. Any unintended harsh word or hurtful look from another is intensely painful. And someone out there understands this. They are singing it to you as you drive your car – the road gets slightly blurred as your eyes fill with tears.
When the song ends, you’re left feeling vulnerable, sad, validated, giddy, and raw all at the same time. A few minutes ago you were looking forward to barbeques and patio talk, clinking cutlery and the sound of summer fun – but it’s as though you’re waking up from a dream you’re fighting to remember and everything is a fog. Because the monster is awake – and you have to figure out how to fight it while smiling on the outside. It’s what being a wife and mother means sometimes: swallowing those feelings that need nurturing because you have to dig deep to find more of yourself to give to someone else.
It’s beautiful and ugly at the same time. Because it seems impossible that there is anything left. But somehow you find more and you’re able to find a breadcrumb of the woman you used to be and tuck it safely away.
Focusing is something I really struggle with lately. I know that “mommy brain” is an actual thing so it makes me feel better about my lack of concentration. But it doesn’t make things any less frustrating. It’s annoying how easily an idea that just entered my mind fades away like cotton candy in water…and I’m left feeling as panicked and bewildered as this poor dude:
I get agitated when I think of an item I need to add to my grocery list but can’t find a pen to quickly jot it down. It’s that bad – if I don’t write down the important thing that floats into my mind within 30 seconds, it’s gone. It’ll pop up at some other time during the day, but probably when I’m driving or showering.
At least three times a day I find myself standing in front of the fridge holding the doors open asking out loud what the heck did I need again? Or as I’m heading downstairs to the cold room for a jar of tomato sauce, it may occur to me that I’d like something sweet with my coffee later. Naturally I return upstairs with all the ingredients for pineapple up-side-down cake but no jar of sauce. Frig! Downstairs I go again.
Please tell me some mommies out there can relate? Any tips of how to focus again?