Second Baby Boy = Second Chances


Joshua Edward Cole has arrived on March 24th! He is the EXACT opposite of Big Brother Jacob so far. At this stage with Jacob, I was asking my husband if the hospital would let me return my colicky son to them. I know, it sounds horrible for a mother to say that. But I was a first-time mom with a newborn who screamed and nursed. There were no two hour lulls like with Joshua.

At Joshua’s 48 hour appointment, I asked the doctor if he was ill. She asked me why I thought that and I told her that all he does is eat and sleep; maybe he had jaundice if he was so lethargic. She giggled at me and mentioned that Joshua was doing exactly what newborns are supposed to do.

I had it in my head my entire pregnancy that I was heading into a storm – a newborn (which I assumed would nurse and scream like Jacob did) and an active 2 year old. I have a vivid imagination so instead of getting excited about our new addition on the way, this is more along the lines of what I pictured:

Image by Heath Robbins
Image by Heath Robbins

It feels like God has sent me a little miracle. Maybe with a note that says:

“I owe ya one, Kid. Here’s a little baby boy who will be a sweet newborn. Now go on, fall in love with being a Mommy. I know the first time around those moments passed you by in the chaos.”

They did. I can’t recall moments with Jacob when I was able to sit down quietly with my chin on his soft little head and breath in his beautiful scent. I’m not saying they didn’t happen, I just can’t bring those memories to the surface. I was so busy being anxious about what would happen next and when the screaming would start that I couldn’t live in the moment.

Joshua is my second chance at falling in love. And I’m taking all the little moments in… because they’re already almost gone. He’ll be one month soon, then before I know it he’ll be a toddler, running away from me giggling, and after that, closing his bedroom door in my face so he can have privacy.

I sit here and try so hard to etch these sweet moments in my mind, I hope they never fade. I hope I can bring them to the surface when I need to and relive them. Until I need to do that though, I’m going to live in these moments right now and be thankful that God has blessed me with another little boy to raise.

6 thoughts on “Second Baby Boy = Second Chances

  1. This brought tears to my eyes because it’s my story as well. (That’s why I waited 6 years…I was terrified). Congratulations!!!

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