In my early twenties, I believed that I didn’t want children. I had the idea that children tied a woman down, killed her dreams and stopped her from accomplishing any further titles in her life other than “soccer mom”, “housekeeper”, “cook”, etc.
When I was 24, I was in the delivery room when my niece Adele was born. Wow. I had such mixed emotions after witnessing that. Watching my sister-in-law, Lynette in such pain for hours made me think: nope, not doing this. Ever. Period! But then Adele arrived, and she cried, and I held her. I watched an actual life begin. I saw her first seconds in a world she had no idea was waiting for her. I watched her blink at the lights, let her hold my finger. She was a tiny blank slate waiting to be loved.
And then I looked at Lynette. She was exhausted, sore, and in the roughest shape she’d ever been in her life. But she didn’t complain. She only wanted to hold her daughter. And then it hit me. I realized how instantaneous the switch goes off in a woman when the life she bore in her womb arrives. She no longer cares about her own pain, her new instinct is to comfort her baby and hush its cries.
I wasn’t so against having children anymore. I had the mentality that if I was one day blessed with children, I would instinctively know what to do just like Lynette did; just like every woman does. And I did.
It wasn’t easy in the beginning. I’ve learned so much about myself, and my strengths. I’ve learned how to be vulnerable and compassionate with myself. I’ve learned how to stop trying to be perfect. I don’t sweat the small stuff anymore. Life has become…simpler.
Many people at church this morning wished me a Happy Mother’s Day. At first it felt weird, but soon it felt amazing. I’m a mother. I have a son. I’m filled with such joy. My first Mother’s Day has been so wonderful.
Happy Mother’s Day to all my followers who are mothers, or soon-to-be mothers. 🙂