About a week ago Andrew had to go away for a few days for work. In the days leading to his departure I was feeling nothing but dread in the pit of my stomach; I’d miss him terribly and would feel lonely. Not to mention we had a baby now so it would be way different than when he traveled in the past. I wouldn’t have him around to help.
I Have a Whole New Respect for Single Parents
It was just three days! Half way through day two I thought to myself: how the heck do single parents do this? If he was napping I could catch up on house work, laundry, food preparation, and myself (showering didn’t last longer than 4 minutes tops).
Andrew works from home and at about five o’clock every day he takes the long commute down the stairs to spend time with us. I never realized how much I look forward to that break. He plays with Jacob for an hour and I have time to do whatever I want. Usually dinner is in the middle of cooking, so I can go for a walk to get some air, take a super-long shower, go to the bedroom to lie down – whatever. But for three days that break didn’t exist.
I Realized How Much Andrew Does
Andrew and I are an awesome team. He’s not the kind of man that expects his wife to do all the house work, care for the baby on her own, have dinner ready and warm by six, etc. He’s always told me that he believes marriage is about doing what we can to make life easy and great for the other person. It’s never one-sided.
We work together so naturally. If Andrew sees me dusting and he’s not in the middle of doing anything, he’ll vacuum. If I see him starting dinner, I ask what needs chopping. It’s a two-way street that works great. So obviously, I felt so overwhelmed with him gone for work those three days.
Our days usually go like this:
- Jacob coos on the baby monitor
- I get up to warm a bottle & Andrew changes Jacob
- I feed Jacob his bottle & Andrew brews a coffee for us
- He heads to work upstairs; I spend the day with Jacob & write or do house work during his naps
- While Jacob plays in the Jolly Jumper at around four o’clock I start dinner (on fussy days that doesn’t always happen so smoothly)
- Andrew comes back from work & plays with Jacob
- I get time to myself for a while
- We eat together
- Andrew sets up things for bath time
- I bathe Jacob, give him a bottle & put him to bed while Andrew…
- Cleans up dishes, bath supplies, toys from the day & straightens out the living room
- I come down from putting Jacob to sleep and Andrew & I can hang out for a couple hours
If Andrew didn’t help out so much, then relaxing together at the end of the day would be tough. I’d come down from putting Jacob to bed and still have all that tidying up to do. But since it’s done we can wind down together.
Those three days were tough. I didn’t have all that help. It made me miss Andrew so much; not just for all he does, but also for the wind-down time together.
I Don’t Do it All; I Just Have a Great Husband
Some people ask me how I have time to bake things or where I get the energy to write. When they see photos of me they’ll mention that I look well-rested for a new mom. I give all the credit to my husband. If he wasn’t so supportive and didn’t view us as a team, I’d be a stressed-out, exhausted, frustrated, annoying and unhappy woman.
He makes my life easier and pushes me to reward myself with time alone, spa days, a day at the mall while he watches Jacob and more. In turn, while he plays soccer once a week, goes for bike rides, or out with friends once in a while I hold the fort down at home. We do what we can to keep each other sane – and that makes us even more devoted to each other.
I always say I’m the luckiest woman to have such a supportive husband. That’s why he’s getting The Best Spouse in the Universe Award.