Up until Jacob was about four months, the only time I’d go out was for a walk around the block with him in the stroller, to doctors appointments, and to one play date that lasted about an hour tops.
I had it in my head that I couldn’t leave him. That I was the only one who knew what his cries meant, how he liked to be held, how snug to swaddle him. It was silly now that I look back on it. I was depriving me of time for myself and Jacob of experiencing new people.
A Kick in the Butt
My husband came downstairs from his home office one evening and told me to hand him Jacob. He then said he was kicking me out for the evening. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. Whether I went shopping, watched a movie, got a manicure – he just wanted me to have some alone time.
I protested for a while but knew I wasn’t going to win. So I huffed my way upstairs to get dressed in clothes that weren’t yoga pants and a sweater. Before I left I started listing off to my husband how Jacob’s bath time went, but he told me he watched me do it so many times. We’ll be fine! And if the house burns down I’ll text you. Go enjoy yourself.
Unwinding Felt Good
Once I was driving the first thing I did was go to the Tim Horton’s drive thru for a coffee. I missed doing that. And by the first sip I could feel my body begin to relax as it fell into familiarity.
We Are Young by Fun came on the radio and I was softly singing. I caught myself smiling so turned up the volume and sang really loud. It felt so great! I soon forgot about about my responsibilities at home and just lived in the moment.
The House was Quiet and in One Piece
After watching a movie and eating a huge bag of buttery popcorn I went home. As I pulled into the driveway I noticed how much lighter I felt. One evening out alone, without doing anything big and special, and I felt completely recharged and wanted to burst through the door to see my little family.
Once inside, my ears went into superhero mode as I tried listening for a crying baby. Everything was quiet. Hubby came out of the living room and asked how my night was. We sat down on the couch together and I told him about my night.
Jacob was fast asleep in his crib, the house was in one piece and best of all, I was at peace. I’m married to the smartest and most generous man who did what he could to give me my sanity back, even for just one night. But we came to an agreement that each of use should have a night out on our own when we could a couple times a month. It’s a deal!